Roughly a year ago, I got annoyed about Taylor Swift's release of a song called "You Need to Calm Down", which was being presented as something of a gay anthem at the time despite Swift being straight. I channelled this irritation into making a blog post listing five gay anthems performed by LGBT+ artists to listen to instead. Back then, I thought that was the probably last post I'd ever make about Taylor Swift - it turns out I was wrong.
Recently, my social media feeds have been filled with people discussing Swift's new song "Betty", which apparently can be generously interpreted as a queer love song. I'm holding myself back from going into a full-blown rant about why I think this is not the case (although I would happily do so in a later post if people are interested), because the song itself is not what I want to focus on here.
I've mentioned before that LGBT+ representation created by and for LGBT+ people is very important to me, and the release of "Betty" struck me as the perfect time to recommend some songs which might hold similar appeal to queer listeners (specifically in that they focus on gay yearning, a feeling many of us queers know all too well). The only difference is, these songs are actually by queer artists.
With all of that in mind, I compiled a playlist of twelve songs about gay yearning, all (with the exception of one, which I will explain later) performed by openly queer artists. By all means, continue to listen to Taylor Swift and "Betty", but consider also giving these songs a chance. You might just find your next great anthem for queer longing among them.
I've listed the songs below with embedded links to their YouTube recordings, or you can scroll to the bottom of this post for the Spotify playlist I've made. Happy listening!
"Jenny" - Studio Killers*
My research for this post has led me to conclude that, for many a queer, yearning = being tragically in love with your best friend. Despite its catchy techno beats, lyrically "Jenny" is about just such a situation. Besides the original Studio Killers version, I would also highly recommend the heartbreaking Lily Sevin cover, which turns the song into a ballad.
Lyric of peak yearning: "I wanna ruin our friendship / We should be lovers instead"
"i wanna be your girlfriend" - Girl in Red
Of course the artist who is so gay that "do you listen to Girl in Red?" has become code for "are you gay?" would have done a song about the being-in-love-with-your-best-friend experience. "i wanna be your girlfriend" is about the singer's longing for their friend named Hanna, and it includes an iconic line which I can't include here in order to keep this post safe for work - you'll just have to listen to the song to find out what it is.
Lyric of peak yearning: "I don't wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips"
Sleepover - Hayley Kiyoko
Another song about being in love with your friend - it's amusingly sad how common an experience this is for all of us. I'm starting to think that Hayley Kiyoko has made it her mission to write a song for every quintessential queer experience, from coming out ("Girls Like Girls") to not being sure if a girl is interested in you romantically or just physically ("Curious"). Either way, "Sleepover" is her take on the unrequited-best-friend-love trope.
Lyric of peak yearning: "Sleeping here right next to me / But will you ever mess with me? No / But at least I got you in my head"
Cherry - Rina Sawayama
Unlike the previous songs, this one isn't about unrequited feelings for a friend (at least not explicitly). Rather, it's about finally facing up to your feelings for a girl and wondering if you can make the leap into that becoming a relationship. While I've included the original version on the playlist, Sawayama's piano version is definitely worth a listen as well.
Lyric of peak yearning: "Holding on to feelings / I'm not used to feeling / 'Cause, oh, they make me feel alive"
Boys Aside - Sofya Wang
Not only is this a great song about wanting to steal a girl away from the boys who want her attention, it also has a music video which is pure aesthetic goals. It's pastel, pink, and has an adorably tiny kitten in it. I'm not sure what else you could want.
Lyric of peak yearning: "I wanted you to be my baby girl tonight / And all the other boys could just say goodbye"
Flowers for Anna - Ames
This song has a smooth, dreamy sound that I really enjoy. The lyrics in "Flowers for Anna" are a bit harder to decipher than some of the other songs on this list, at least to me, but that just makes it more fascinating. It's also something of a hidden gem, with under 20,000 views on YouTube.
Lyric of peak yearning: "I've always been the weirdo / With flowers in my hands for Anna / Her little brother who liked me / I'd pretend he was her"
Girl - The Internet (ft. KAYTRANADA)
I wouldn't normally use words like "sultry" to describe a song, but this one fits the description perfectly. There is still a hint of uncertainty in the lyrics, though, when the singer tries to persuade the girl she likes that they should be together.
Lyric of peak yearning: "If I told you that you rock my world, I want you around me / Would you let me call you my girl, my girlfriend, my girlfriend?"
She - Dodie
This song goes back to the first step in many a gay journey, when you struggle to recognise your feelings for a girl and/or if it's even okay to have them. It's a little sad, but it's also tender and relatable.
Lyric of peak yearning: "I'd never tell / No, I'd never say a word / And oh, it aches / But it feels oddly good to hurt"
Pretty Girl - Clairo
Not all songs about yearning focus on a positive relationship, or even aspiring to one. "Pretty Girl" is about wanting someone so badly that you'd change yourself to be with them. It may be the negative side of the emotion, but it's yearning nonetheless.
Lyric of peak yearning: "It's getting harder to understand, to understand / How you felt in my hands, in my hands"
She's so Lovely - The Butchies
No, this isn't the Scouting for Girls song. This "She's so Lovely" is by The Butchies, a queercore band from America. Lyrically, it's about the ecstatic, urgent longing for a person you have a crush on.
Lyric of peak yearning: "She's a rocker dressed like a killer / She's got lips like wine not sugar / I'm running running into timing / Got a watch it's stuck in shining"
Bestie - Sizzy Rocket
You thought we'd reach the end of the list without another song about liking your best friend? I'm afraid not, my dear reader. This song focuses on the more physical side of things, and I should say that it's definitely not safe for work in terms of lyrics.
Lyric of peak yearning: "I wonder what, what, what does she want / What, what, what does she want"
What's It Gonna Be? - Shura
It may or may not be about a best friend, but either way this song is about having feelings for a person and not being sure whether to tell them. The music video is also a cute story of romance and friendships that takes on the archetypes of "The Jock, The Nerd, The Dork, The Popular Kid" - but with a queer twist, of course.
Lyric of peak yearning: "Do I tell you I love you or not? / Cause I can't really guess what you want / If you let me down, let me down slow"
*In terms of queerness, Studio Killers is a grey area because they're actually a virtual band, and I can find little-to-no information on the real-life artists behind the characters. However, it seems that the band's lead singer avatar, Cherry, is pansexual, so we'll just say this counts.
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