June Reading Wrap-Up (From & About Asia Reading Project)

 This past month, most of my reading time has been occupied by two books:

- The Dead Lake by Hamid Ismailov 

- Mother Earth by Chingiz Aitmatov

These books constituted my self-assigned reading for the From & About Asia reading project's June reading requirements, which specified that I needed to read one book by an Uzbek author (The Dead Lake) and another book about the culture of Central Asia (Mother Earth). Since I finished these both quite close to the end of this month and so don't have time to write about each book in an individual post, I wanted to use this post as a sort of wrap-up in which I give my thoughts on both. 

Also, if you read the words "From & About Asia reading project" and have no idea what I was talking about, I recommend perusing my masterpost on the project and the posts I've made about it.

Let's start with The Dead Lake, as that is the book I read first out of the two. I mentioned in my previous post about it, which I wrote before actually reading the book, that I expected this to be quite a dark and disturbing book, perhaps even bordering on horror. When reading it, I was surprised to find that the book was definitely not of the horror variety, and it wasn't even as dark or disturbing as I expected. While there is certainly an element of existential horror in the book's key incident, in which a young boy enters a radioactive lake and ceases to grow after that point, there was a lot more to the story than just that. There was also humour, hope, and a lot left to the reader's imagination. 

I felt that The Dead Lake gave an immersive look at what it was like for young Yerzhan to grow up rural Kazakhstan, where global events feel at once incredibly distant and intimately close. When his uncle speaks of "the Americans" and nuclear bombs, it is as though he might as well be talking about aliens, the Cold War seems so far away. Yet when the houses in Yerzhan's area are shaken by test bombs, and his own growth is halted by exposure to radiation, you begin to understand that even a conflict which seems so remote can have devastating effects close to home. I think that the book's central plot point alludes to this deceptive dichotomy: when Yerzhan enters the lake, it is seemingly a minor event, the water showing no clear signs of its danger. The harm of the lake and the Cold War generally might not appear immediately, but that doesn't make them any less destructive.

Despite being written by a different author and set in what is now considered to be a different country, Mother Earth has a number of similarities with The Dead Lake. To start with, both books are set in rural areas of countries that - at the time the story takes place - were considered to be part of the Soviet Union. They both depict the mixture of pride and fear that comes with being part of the Soviet Union and show how the country's struggles (Mother Earth's with war and The Dead Lake's with nuclear weaponry) impact its citizens. While I expected The Dead Lake to be darker, Mother Earth was (in my opinion) the more emotionally devastating of the two. Its plot follows Tolgonai, a Kyrgyz farming woman, as she loses more and more of her family during WWII. Seeing Tolgonai's struggle was heartbreaking, perhaps more so because she always tries to remain a pillar of strength for her community and what is left of her family. The title of the book comes from the framing device used for the story, as it is narrated by Tolgonai through her conversations with a field, through which she speaks to Mother Earth. I thought that using Tolgonai's conversations with the earth in this way was very touching, showing us both the importance of the land to her while also stressing how alone she is. That said, this was not a book without hope. Throughout the story, Tolgonai holds onto the hope of life for her people and her family, and it is this hope which sustains her. 

I think I would recommend both of these books to anyone who wants to learn more about this area of the world and its history, as well as those who can appreciate a story even when it is difficult to read emotionally. Mother Earth was my favourite of the two, but I truly enjoyed both and could see myself reading more works by either Ismailov or Aitmatov. I had never heard of either of these books or authors before the From & About Asia reading project, so once again I'm pleased that this project gave me the opportunity to discover them and appreciate their work.

Next week, I will be continuing with the From & About Asia project by posting my choices for July, the country and region of which are Jordan and Western Asia respectively. So if you are interested in my progress with this project, keep an eye out for next week's post!

10 LGBT+ YouTubers to Watch this Pride Month

Happy Pride! As most of you are probably aware, June is celebrated as LGBT+ Pride Month all around the world, giving those of us in the LGBT+ community an opportunity to celebrate our identity (and giving companies an opportunity to slap a rainbow on their logo and earn some of that sweet, sweet pink money). Like many of us who are living in countries dramatically impacted by the COVID pandemic (i.e. pretty much everywhere), I am spending Pride 2021 cooped up in my home and consuming queer media in an attempt to make up for the lack of real-life events happening near me. This just so happens to be how I have spent almost every single pride since I came out, but I would rather blame it on COVID this year.

But if I can't experience queer community in real life right now, I can still do so through the internet. I have mentioned in a few past posts that I love watching YouTube, with many of my favourite creators being LGBT+. I thought that this month would be the perfect time to draw attention to some of these creators through one of my favourite mediums: a list.

This is by no means an exhaustive list (obviously there are more than 10 LGBT+ people on YouTube...), but these are ten of my absolute favourites - the kind I actually turn notifications on for because I'm genuinely excited when they put out a new video. That's right, I actually clicked the bell button for these people. 

I have done my best to research these YouTubers and make sure I've got their labels and pronouns right, but please do let me know in the comments if I have made a mistake and I will fix it ASAP. In some cases I have just not mentioned their specific identities, because while I know that all of the people on this list identify with the LGBT+ community, I am not sure which letter in specific they fall under. With all that out of the way, let's move on to the YouTubers!

Kat Blaque 

Kat Blaque is one of my all-time favourite YouTubers and probably the YouTuber I have followed most consistently for the longest period of time. While the content and style of her channel has evolved over the years, her honesty and charisma mean that she can make just about any topic interesting. Right now she runs a weekly True Tea podcast where she gives her opinions on a variety of subjects, from pop culture to social issues. She also speaks from her own experience as a Black trans woman, as well as someone who is involved in the BDSM, polyamorous, and goth communities of Los Angeles. Her perspective is always interesting and her sincerity is refreshing.

Tara Mooknee

Like Kat Blaque, I mentioned Tara Mooknee in one of my previous YouTube-related posts: 5 Video Essays I Love. That post mentioned Mooknee's video "The Rise of the Pick Me Girl Meme", which has over one million well-deserved views and which I would still highly recommend. That video is far from the only worthwhile video on the channel, though. Mooknee, a bisexual woman, primarily makes videos responding to things - "things" such as email chain messages, anti-lockdown propaganda, and cows in pop culture. Whatever the subject, Mooknee always manages to make her videos entertaining and absurdly funny while also breaking down the more serious aspects of her topics in an intelligent and insightful way. She also has an amazing fashion sense and an adorable dog named Siggy, so there's no reason not to watch her really.

Khadija Mbowe

Another YouTuber I've only recently started watch but love so far, Khadija Mbowe makes video essays about social issues and media. Their videos are consistently well-structured, researched, and presented, making them a pleasure to watch even when they go in-depth with serious topics. It's sort of hard to believe that they're actually a professional opera singer and not a full-time video essayist, but I suppose some people are just that multitalented! 

CopsHateMoe

CopsHateMoe is a non-binary YouTuber that I can't quite believe is only 19 years old, given how thoughtful and mature their video content is. They are somewhat involved in leftist spaces on social media, and they have previously been critical of those in leftist and LGBT+ spaces who perpetuate harmful behaviours, such as Xanderhal's ableism and Blaire White's take on pretty much everything. They recently became quite well known for their takes on the Kalvin Garrah situation, which has been a big topic among LGBT+ YouTubers of late. Their videos might have less appeal if you don't follow many creators in these spaces and thus have no idea what I'm on about, but if you do understand and haven't yet watched Moe's channel, I highly recommend that you do.

Jessie Gender

Like many of the other creators on this list, Jessie Gender makes commentary and video essays (my tastes are quite particular, as you can probably tell). Her videos tend to focus on geek culture seen through a socially critical lens. Many of these focus on Star Trek (Jessie Gender being a huge Trekkie), but she has covered others forms of media as well, from Marvel to Harry Potter. She often analyses these from her own position as a queer, trans, autistic woman, providing a much-needed perspective in geek fandom. 

MacDoesIt

If you're keen to watch more LGBT+ content but are more interested in watching funny videos than deep-diving video essays, MacDoesIt might be the channel for you. He describes himself as 'a satirical comedic vlogger who creates content that is a cross between “Intelligently funny” an “an organized hot mess.”' You might be familiar with his reaction videos, like his hilarious "Reacting to Anti-Gay Commercials Series". His style is energetic and sometimes chaotic, but in my opinion it's always funny (and judging by the 16 million views on his first anti-gay reaction video, I'm not the only one who thinks so).

Jessica Kellgren-Fozard

Another YouTuber who doesn't focus primarily on video essays, Jessica Kellgren-Fozard is a Deaf, lesbian YouTuber and vintage fashion icon. Her videos are fun and cheerful, including family vlogs (made with her wife, dogs, and newborn baby), vintage style tutorials, LGBT+ history lessons, discussions about disabled and queer identity, and more. Her style is impeccable and her attitude is contagiously upbeat. Fun fact: I actually learnt how to use foam hair rollers from her tutorial videos.

Philosophy Tube

Full disclosure: I didn't actually start watching Philosophy Tube until Abigail Thorn's relatively recent video where she came out as transgender: 'Identity: A Trans Coming Out Story'. That video was so mindblowingly good that I felt compelled to consume more of her work. So far, I have only become more impressed. Focusing primarily on issues of philosophy, as her channel name would imply, Philosophy Tube's videos tend to be highly-produced, aesthetically theatrical videos that are as thought-provoking as they are visually stimulating. I was particularly amazed by her recent video 'Ignorance & Censorship', which more or less made me reconsider my whole life.

Finnjamin Fox

Although his is one of the smaller channels on this list, Finnjamin Fox is definitely worth checking out. He makes sensitive, thoughtful videos about trans issues and his own experience as a trans, bisexual man. Like Tara Mooknee, he also has a very cute dog. The sense of calm and nuance that he brings to his videos makes them especially nice to watch. He always seems to approach his topics with compassion, which I find very admirable.

Samantha Lux

For the final YouTuber on this list, I would like to recommend Samantha Lux. She is a trans woman who creates videos where she reacts to current events and media from a trans perspective, as well as sharing her own experience transitioning. Her videos are well-researched and structured, even though they feel quite informal and fun too. I admire how well she balances humour and positivity with justified criticism of the often-transphobic behaviour she reacts to, and it makes her videos a joy to watch,

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That's all for now! I could have gone on much longer with this list, but I decided that ten was a good number to stop at. I would be very happy to do a part two if that's something people would be interested in, though. My lists are obviously going to focus primarily on channels which appeal to my own specific tastes, so I would love to hear recommendations from other YouTube-viewers on the LGBT+ channels they enjoy. Please feel free to comment if you have any other suggestions of LGBT+ creators to watch this Pride!

Review: The Disorder Collection (Part 2)

Last month I reviewed three books from Amazon's six-book Disorder collection, with the promise that I would review the other three later. Dear reader, that day has finally come. I actually read the other books a little while ago, before my free Kindle Unlimited trial expired, but I am only just now writing this review because my previous few posts have been wholly occupied by the From & About Asia reading project. If you haven't already, I recommend going back and reading the first post I wrote about the Disorder collection before reading this one, but the choice is ultimately yours.

With that explanation out of the way, let's get into these books. As you may recall, Part 1 covered Un-girls, Anonymous, and The Best Girls, leaving Loam, The Beckoning Fair One, and Will Williams for this post. Just as in the last installment, I will be reviewing these in the order that I read them, starting with:

The Beckoning Fair One by Dan Chaon

Out of the whole collection, this is probably my second favourite story (Min Jin Lee's The Best Girls having retained its top spot since Part 1). It's a creepy, suburban gothic, almost fairytale-esque story about a boy and his teenage sister, who develops a strange obsession with a young man in their town. While I admit I'm not entirely sure what to make of the story's emphasis on the apparent danger of teenage female sexuality, I was a big fan of the story's atmosphere and generally eerie vibe. I also liked that Chaon wasn't afraid to make it a genuinely weird story, especially towards the end. It might be bizarre and even a little disturbing, but it definitely left an impression. 

Loam by Scott Heim

Like The Beckoning Fair One, Loam focuses on a group of siblings from a small, creepy American town who are somehow involved in strange goings-on. This was certainly an unsettling story, with one part in particular making me regret reading it in bed at night, but I didn't like it as much as Chaon's. It wasn't as effectively atmospheric, was quite slow to get going, and lacked a satisfying resolution. I was disinterested at the start, got my hopes up about half way through, and then felt disappointed by the end. It also bothered me a bit that [SPOILER, highlight to view] the crux of the story focuses on false accusations, including of sexual assault. Stories like this are getting to seem horribly overdone at best, and encouraging scepticism of survivors at worst. Even without that, though, I'm not sure I would have been terribly impressed with this story.

Will Williams by Namwali Serpell

This book is apparently based on an Edgar Allan Poe story which, full disclosure, I haven't read. I mention that because this story might have special resonance for those who have experienced the original, but unfortunately I do not fall into this category. Will Williams tells the story of its eponymous (and supposedly pseudonymous) main character, who is haunted from childhood onwards by a mysterious doppelganger of sorts: a boy who shares his name and gradually comes to assume other aspects of his identity. I found this story quite unnerving, which is probably a good thing, since the story is somewhat frightening. I appreciated how Serpell connected the concept of a doppelganger to social issues like the school-to-prison pipeline, which gave fresh meaning to an old trope. That said, I didn't find this story as immersive or its main character as compelling as some of the others in this series, so I wouldn't rank it as one of my favourites.

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With that, we have reached the end of the Disorder collection. While I did enjoy reading this collection, I'm not sure if I would recommend it that strongly. The Best Girls is definitely my favourite and I would recommend that as a standalone story, as well as possibly The Beckoning Fair One if you want a straight-up horror tale, but I'm not sure I would do the same for any of the others. If you already have Kindle Unlimited and are looking for something a little strange and unusual, I would say go ahead and read the collection - or at least some of the stories in it. If you'd have to purchase it though, I would say to spend your money on something else. 

Uzbekistan & Central Asia Book Choices (From & About Asia Reading Project)

Note: Apologies for the late post! I wrote this on Wednesday and intended to post it that day, but I felt a bit unwell and basically... forgot to post it. So here it is now, a few days late.

Hello, loyal readers! Welcome back to another update on my progress with the From & About Asia reading project. If this is your first time hearing me mention this project, I recommend having a look at my masterpost here and reading my first post about the project, in which I explain how it works and what I am attempting to do.

For those of you who have been following my reading within the project, you will know that I recently finished last month's readings for May/North Korea/East Asia, and I am now working on my choices for June/Uzebkistan/Central Asia. Although I haven't finished any of June's books yet, I thought it my book choices might be of interest regardless and so I decided to share them here.

At the moment, my choices are as follows:

Category I (a book by an Uzbek author): The Dead Lake by Hamid Ismailov

Category II (a book about the culture of a Central Asian country): Mother Earth by Chingiz Aitmatov

Hamid Ismailov is, from what I understand, one of the most well-known authors to come out of Uzebkistan. This probably explains why his books are much easier to find online than many other Uzbek authors, and also why so many of us in the From & About Asia Discord group are reading his books this month! Interestingly, his books are actually banned in Uzbekistan and the author himself was forced to flee his home country after Islam Karimov's regime accused him of opposing the government (according to Wikipedia).

When googling Ismailov, I was surprised to find that one of his novels, The Devils' Dance, has actually been on my to-read list for years. Sadly, I decided not to read this book for the project as I couldn't find it in ebook form and it seemed a bit too long - I'm trying not to be too ambitious with my reading choices this month. That said, I hope that I might be able to read it in the future if I can get hold of a copy, especially if I enjoy the book I did choose.

In case you were wondering, my alternative Ismailov book choice was The Dead Lake. I came across this novella while searching for Ismailov's works, and the title and the plot summary really grabbed me. Set in Soviet-controlled Kazakhstan, The Dead Lake tells the story of Yerzhan, a boy who is doomed to a sort of eternal youth after a tragic event in his childhood. In an attempt to impress the girl he is in love with, Yerzhan dives into a radioactive lake that has been contaminated by the atomic bombs detonated nearby. This permanently stunts Yerzhan's growth, leaving him forever stuck in the body of a young boy.

While this plot is definitely disturbing, I also found it darkly fascinating. I have never heard of a story quite like this, so I'm intrigued to know where Ismailov will take it. My copy was released as part of the publisher Peirene's Coming of Age series, so I'm guessing that it will be a sort of bildungsroman - albeit one with elements of magical realism and horror, if the summary is anything to go by.

As for my choice for Category II, I have decided to go for Mother Earth by Chingiz Aitmatov. I decided quite early on that I wanted to read a book from Kyrgyzstan, because I have an aunty from there. Mother Earth is actually the book she chose for me after I asked for her reading recommendations, since I figured she probably knows the landscape of Kyrgyz literature better than I do! If you're reading this, thank you for the suggestion Aunty!

I know less about Aitmatov than I do about Ismailov, but from what I understand he is an important figure in Kyrgyz literature. Like Aitmatov, he wrote in Russian (as well as Kyrgyz). There are a few of his books which interest me, particularly his first novel The Day Lasts More Than a Hundred Years, so if I enjoy reading Mother Earth I will have plenty more of his work to explore afterwards!

I believe that Mother Earth is about the struggles of a Kyrgyz woman named Tolgonay, who has lost most of her family during the the Great Patriotic War and afterwards. I don't want to find out too much more in case I see spoilers, but my aunty has warned me this is quite a sad story! I suppose I'll have to read it to find out... but only once I've finished The Dead Lake.

So, those are all my choices for this month's books. I am excited to read both of these, partially because they sound so interesting individually but also because they will be the first books I have ever read from their respective countries. I love reading books from places I've never previously read about, so I'm happy the From & About Asia reading project is giving me the opportunity to do more of that this summer. Hopefully I will finish both of these before the end of the month and probably post book reviews for both of them, so keep an eye out!

Book Review: The Accusation by Bandi (From & About Asia Reading Project)

Hello, and welcome to another post about the From and About Asia Reading Project! Those of you who have read my previous posts about the project (and if you haven't, I recommend perusing my masterpost here) will know that I have been participating in it for the last month. This has meant choosing and reading two books, one for each of the following criteria:

Category I: a book by an author from that month's country

Category II: a book about the culture of the subregion where the country is from

May's country was North Korea, meaning that my Category I choice had to be a book by a North Korean author. For this, I chose The Accusation by Bandi. As for my choice for Category II, I have actually already written a post about the book I selected, Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982, which I ended up reading first for reasons I have specified in that review. Hopefully next month I will manage to read the books in what seems to be the correct order! My choices for June will come later, though. For now, let's get back to the topic of The Accusation. 

As far as I can tell, The Accusation is a very unique book in terms of North Korean literature, at least among those books which have been translated into English. While there have been many books written by North Korean defectors, The Accusation is the first I have heard of that was critical of but written by someone still living within the regime. The pseudonymous author, Bandi (whose name means "firefly" in Korean), wrote the collection of short stories secretly and hid his manuscript until a family member who defected was able to help him get it out of the country. The manuscript was then picked up for publication, and the rest is history.

The fact that The Accusation is so unusual made me determined to read it, even though I normally struggle with short story collections. Its stories follow different members of North Korean society as they live life under their country's oppressive dictator. Bandi definitely doesn't hold back from criticising the regime, with every single story drawing attention to its hypocrisy and brutality.

I admit I was a bit surprised by this. Somehow I thought that the stories (at least some of them, anyway) would show the reader a less critical look at daily life in North Korea, showing in some ways the normality of it for those who live inside the system. Instead, I found that the oppression of the North Korean state hung over the stories like thick smoke. It wasn't possible to look for metaphorical gaps in the regime, where perhaps some light might be able to slip through, because its influence was so suffocatingly absolute. It was disturbing to read story after story where the basic humanity of North Koreans was crushed inside the iron fist of the Kims' dictatorship.

For me, the standout story of the collection was definitely "The Stage", a heartbreaking tale of a family fractured by the son's desire to live, in his words, as a human being. A prominent theme in this story was the idea of "stage truth", which is described within the text as: "how actors perform a given play as though it were real life. To lie, in other words, but convincingly, so the audience will believe it is the truth."

Bandi extends this concept of stage truth to the behaviour of North Korean citizens within the regime, who are forced not only to perform whatever actions they are told to but also to do so believably, to convince their superiors that they are doing so out of a true inner devotion to the state and its ideals. I found this to be a very powerful comparison, which Bandi illustrates painfully well. Trying to comprehend the intimate, psychological oppression of the North Korean state is a task as horrible as it seems essential to understanding the lives of its people.

It's sort of difficult to review this book as I would another work of fiction, because I am aware of the horrible reality that inspired Bandi's stories. I feel like it's almost disrespectful to say "this is a great book, 10/10 would recommend", but I do want to say that it was a powerful and insightful book to read. If you are interested in North Korea or want to learn more about the struggles of the North Korean people, I would indeed recommend The Accusation. If the story surrounding the book's origins is true, then we are very lucky that this collection made it out of the country and into English-language publication. Bandi is an incredibly brave writer, and we are all fortunate to be able to read his work.