A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog post about joining the From and About Asia reading project, which requires me to read two books about Asia every month (actually the rules are a bit more complicated than that, but we'll get into more detail in a second). Earlier this week, I had the pleasure of finishing my first assigned book for the project: Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 by Cho Nam-joo.
For those of you who need a refresher of the project's book criteria, let me give you a quick reminder. Each month focuses on a different country in Asia, May's being North Korea, and then requires you to read one book for each of the following categories:
Category I: a book by an author from that country
Category II: a book about the culture of the subregion where the country is from
Funnily enough, Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 actually fits into the second category here, even though I finished it before my Category I choice. The reason for this is that I'm reading my other North Korea book (The Accusation by Bandi) as part of a buddy read that continues until the end of this month. So, I have somewhat counterintuitively finished my Category II book before it.
I will admit I was a little confused at first as to what book I should choose for this category. I ended up choosing Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 because I already owned a digital copy, I'd heard other feminist readers rave about it, and I liked the idea of reading one book from North Korea and another about South Korea. It seemed to fit the criteria for a book that looks at an East Asian subculture because it follows the life of the eponymous main character as she navigates life as a woman in South Korea. The story takes us from before her birth to her becoming a mother herself. Along the way, it tackles a variety of issues relating to sexism and patriarchy, all seen through the lens of Jiyoung's experiences.
One of the blurbs inside the book claimed that "Kim Jiyoung's life is made to seem at once totally common-place and nightmarishly over-the-top", which I admit I found quite strange. While I would agree that Jiyoung's life is both commonplace and nightmarish, there is nothing over-the-top about it. Everything she goes through is totally normal, even if the anti-feminist instinct to deny these experiences is so strong that Cho Nam-joo had to include actual citations within the text. Given that the book is written from a South Korean perspective and set in that country, Jiyoung's life is specifically that of a Korean woman, and her experiences with sexism and misogyny reflect that. For example, I think that perhaps the issues of sex-selective abortion and ideas about honour and tradition in families (and how this affects gender relations within them) are perhaps more particularly significant in Korea.
On the other hand, as the great Mona Eltahawy said, "Patriarchy is universal." So much of what Jiyoung experiences is relatable even to me as a woman who has never so much as visited Korea. Being sexualised from a young age, encountering predatory men as a child, being told that as a girl you can't do things that boys your age are doing, having your choice of clothing constantly analysed and controlled, being harassed by men on the street, being told that this harassment is your own fault, living in constant fear of the violence you know other women like you have experienced, feeling a dull sense of inevitability when you finally experience that violence yourself - all of these are things that Jiyoung, myself, and countless other women worldwide have gone through.
I know that some people reading this, specifically men, will probably hear my description of the book and think, "I'm not sure this is for me." Maybe you don't like reading so-called "feminist" literature or maybe you just feel like this book would be a bit too intense for your liking. Unfortunately, the women in your life don't have the opportunity to opt-out of sexism and misogyny like you can opt-out of reading a book which focuses on them. If I could, I'd get all the men I know to read this book, if only so they can see (however briefly) the relentless patriarchal onslaught that comes with going through life as a woman.
That's not to say that only men would benefit from reading this book, of course. Reading it as a woman made me feel very validated and vindicated in my anger at systemic sexism. I think this book deserves a place as a new feminist classic for how well and concisely it depicts the reality of being a woman in the modern world. It doesn't depict every single aspect, as I'm sure no book really could, but it depicts the life and experiences of one woman and it does so incredibly well.
For those who have also read and enjoyed this book, like me, I would like to recommend two other stories you may enjoy. Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 reminded me a lot of The Vegetarian by Han Kang, since both depict Korean women whose conflict with the patriarchal society that surrounds them has manifested itself internally as a mental illness. The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman is a short story that shares a similar plotline, albeit from an American perspective. I was also reminded of Min Jin Lee's short story The Best Girls, which I mentioned in a previous post. Like Kim Jiyoung, The Best Girls gave insight into the lives of Korean women and how young women can be expected to make sacrifices for the sake of their brothers, simply by virtue of their gender.
I would like to write more about this book, going through every aspect of patriarchy which is addressed in the novel and talking about how relatable it all was, but to be honest I could not say any of this better than the book does itself. That said, if you'd like to read more of my thoughts, I made a short post about the book on Instagram and also shared a few quotes from it there. Otherwise, I would suggest reading Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 if you want to know more. It's only a short book so it doesn't take long to read, but its impact will stay with you well after the last sentence.
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