An Open (Love) Letter to the Vampires from 'The Nightmare Before Christmas'

Dear Vampires,

First of all, I apologise for not knowing your real names. It is, in my opinion, a capital crime that you were not given greater screentime in The Nightmare Before Christmas, time which might have allowed me to learn more about you beyond the basics of your vampiric identity - including your actual names. The Nightmare Before Christmas wiki informs me that you are referred to as Prince, Baron, Lord, and Count, but for simplicity's sake I will refer to you in the second person for the rest of this letter.

Let me say that I am a huge fan of your work. Even though you only made a few brief appearances in the film, I can safely say that you made an impression which lasted far longer than the movie's 1 hour and 16 minutes runtime. I would consider the four of you to be my favourite characters in the film, ranking you above the charming Jack Skellington and even that other iconic group, Lock, Shock, and Barrel. 

You first attracted my attention during "This is Halloween", the opening number of the movie, where the four of you make your initial dramatic appearance. From the moment you popped out of your coffins (and appeared dangling down from the ceiling), I knew it was love. 

In a sequence filled with memorable introductions, you caught my eye and then my ear - your haunting, softly wailing voices are the best part of the song. Your voices in general fascinate me: they possess an incredibly amusing quality which I can't quite put my finger on. Even when speaking, like when two of you appear to tell the mayor how your search for Jack is going, your voices retain this melodious hilarity.

That's not to say your voices are the only thing I love about you, of course. I also adore your style, so classic yet spooky - a timelessly gothic look. Your black robes with red accents on the collars are minimalist yet striking, a combination I wish I could manage to combine with such effectiveness. Your decision to sport umbrellas during the daytime - a choice made out of necessity, I'm sure - is also executed with impeccable style. I admire how perfectly your umbrellas match your robes and how they add to the elegance of your outfits. Your enviable aesthetic taste even goes beyond fashion. "Snakes and mice get wrapped up so nice / With spider legs and pretty bows" - need I say more?

Adding to the whole stylish effect is naturally the fact that you all dress exactly the same, in spite of your diverse body types. This is an admirable commitment on a fashion level, but I also wonder if this choice is indicative of a strong group identity. You all seem very close, never seen individually and even sleeping in the same room. You sing in time, coordinate group dance routines... all signs of a sort of inspiring camaraderie. The aforementioned wiki tells me that you are brothers; is this true? If so, then your closeness as a family is beautiful. If not, then I nevertheless admire the non-biological family which you share, because surely no other term could be used to describe such a close relationship as the four of you possess. 

While I say all of this, I do so knowing that there is so much more I wish I knew about you. What are your real names? Are you really brothers? Were you born vampires, or were you all turned later in life? These are questions I realise I may never find the answers to, but this lack of knowledge does not diminish the love I have for your characters. 

Let me finish by saying this: every so often, the sound of your voices singing "This is Halloween" comes unbidden into my head, making me smile in spite of whatever else is going on at the time. I hope you understand this as the compliment I intend it to be.

Yours faithfully,

Mary (your biggest fan)

5 Halloween Movies for People Who Don't Like Horror

Although today I would consider myself a fan of horror movies, I wasn't always so keen on them. My siblings and I weren't allowed to watch horror films as children, but even after becoming old enough to watch what I wanted, they still freaked me out. I used to get incredibly anxious when watching films that I thought would show violent scenes, and sometimes even reading about a gory or disturbing film was enough to make me feel physically unwell. 

I eventually managed to overcome this fear of violent movies through what basically amounted to self-imposed exposure therapy (an experience I might write a blog post about later, if anyone is interested), but I am still very sympathetic to those who prefer to avoid films involving violence or horror. Having such an aversion also shouldn't mean that you can't partake in Halloween, a holiday that I believe can be appreciated with or without traditional scary movies.

In order to provide some non-horror alternatives for Halloween lovers this year, I have compiled a list of 5 movies that offer spooks without the scares, so to speak.

Addams Family Values (1993)

The sequel to the earlier but less well-received 1991 film The Addams Family, Addams Family Values features the iconic family dealing with a new baby and a gold-digging nanny. It's funny and sweetly macabre, as the Addams family are, and as it is family friendly you can rest assured it has little to no scares or violence. Even without those aspects, the gothic aesthetic and black humour of the Addams clan is enough to make this a Halloween classic.

What We Do in the Shadows (2014)

Written and directed by New Zealanders Taika Waititi and Jermaine Clement, who you might know from their involvement in Thor: Ragnarok and Flight of the Conchords respectively, What We Do in the Shadows is a mockumentary focused on the lives of a group of vampires living together in the city of Wellington. While I would warn any potential viewers that this film does contain some blood and a bit of violence (vampires need to find their prey somehow, after all), all of this is played for laughs and is not intended to be serious or disturbing. If you can see through the blood, you'll find a film that is fun, witty and doesn't take itself too seriously.

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

Henry Selick's beloved stop motion musical follows Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King of Halloween Town, as he attempts to steal Christmas from Santa Claus. But is it a Christmas film, or is it a Halloween film? The Nightmare Before Christmas's holiday-appropriateness has been debated so much, it might even rival Die Hard for the title of "Most Contested Christmas Movie". Personally, as I like this film a lot, I think it works well for both seasons - although possibly a little more for Halloween, simply because its aesthetic is so wonderfully spooky. Another family friendly option, this is a good choice if you love creepy Halloween vibes but can't stand any level of violence.

Young Frankenstein (1974)

Recently, TikTok has been abuzz with people fawning over Johnny Depp's portrayal of Willy Wonka in the 2005 film adaptation of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but personally I've always been more of a fan of Gene Wilder's interpretation. Besides Willy Wonka, I'd argue that Wilder's second best role was as a young Victor Frankenstein in Mel Brooks' 1974 movie Young Frankenstein. This is a live-action, black-and-white comedy, a satire of classic horror movies in general and the many adaptations of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein in particular. If you want to avoid scary films but also want to watch something targeted at adults rather than children, Young Frankenstein is an excellent choice.

Beetlejuice (1988)

It wouldn't be a list of Halloween films if we didn't include at least one Tim Burton movie, would it? (And no, I'm not counting The Nightmare Before Christmas.) The one I have chosen for this post is Beetlejuice, although really most Tim Burton films meet the criteria - The Corpse Bride specifically was a close runner up. Like Young Frankenstein, this is another non-violent Halloween film that isn't made for children. Its plot revolves around a ghost family who are disturbed by the arrival of some new humans into their home, so they decide to recruit an eccentric and borderline-demonic entity known as Betelgeuse to drive the invaders away. It's creepy, funny, and frequently downright bizarre. Plus, it features a young Winona Ryder as the human family's goth daughter Lydia Deetz.

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I hope that this list has offered some ideas for non-horror Halloween viewing. Halloween was my favourite holiday even before I stopped being scared of violent films, so it's certainly something you can celebrate and have themed movie nights around without having to watch movies that make you uncomfortable. 

I would love to hear any other suggestions for alternative Halloween movies, if anyone would like to share them with me either directly or in the comments of this post. Happy watching!